Narcissistic Mothers' Strange Sexuality
Many Narcissistic Mothers have strange attitudes towards sex. This isn't part of the official
criteria, but the experience of so DONMs with this issue leads me to know it can be part of the mix. Maybe it's
about lack of boundaries which is a totally narcissistic trait. Or maybe (and probably more likely) there
is more going on than just Narcissistic Personality Disorder, such as Histronic Personality Disorder. Whatever it
is, it's horrible.
They might be over-sexual and act inappropriately flirty, maybe with their daughters'
boyfriends or other inappropriate people. (Flirting with their daughters' boyfriends also invades her boundaries, making sure the daughters know their place in the grand scheme
Or they might blur boundaries again by giving their daughters too much information re their own sex
This might even blur the boundaries between inappropriate behaviour and sexual abuse. In healthy
relationships mothers are physically intimate in many ways with their daughters anyway (such as for hygiene reasons
when the daughter is young enough, or trying on clothes in a shop together), so it's easy for inappropriate
behaviour to slip in in unhealthy relationships. We have heard examples on the forum that definitely veer into
sexual abuse, but of such a subtle kind that the victims didn't even realise that's what it was. Which is, in
itself, a form of gaslighting.
I am lucky that my own mother did not fall into any of these extremes. In fairness I think she
dealt with sexual issues with me very maturely and very appropriately.
But I know that these issues do cause big problems for daughters who've experienced them, and that
is all too many.
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