Narcissistic Mothers as Bullies

It is a given that Narcissistic Mothers are bullies. Their Narcissistic Rage is a classic bullying technique, creating fear in the minds of the victim. Enabling Fathers, too, depending on how actively they enable, are bullies in the cause of keeping the Narcissistic Mother happy.

This would have been a very core experience in my own life. Any intransigence, any complaint about how they treated me, any challenge to them, was met with overwhelming force. Not physical, not in my case (although it would be physical in many cases).

But there would be huge amounts of emotional abuse.

I used to describe it (before I knew about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and had that language) as that they had this 'Horrible Danu Mirror', i.e. this image of me that was this truly horrible, nasty, worthless, ghastly, useless person, and they held this image up to me whenever I tried to speak up for myself.

"Oh!" They'd say, "Well you think you're so perfect. Let me tell you, you're not!" And out would come a list of my supposed faults.

In retrospect those faults were either too general to have any value, e.g., "You're so awkward", or, in the case of the detailed ones, tiny little foibles like closing the front door after their visit before they'd reached the car and driven out of sight.

But they eviscerated me, and I dreaded them and let myself therefore be bullied into not challenging them.

It bears repeating: Narcissistic Mothers are bullies, and their sycophant husbands are bullies, and they bully us to control us, to subjugate us, to disempower us. And it works. It's a huge part of their abuse of us.

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