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English
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N-mother-ese
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| I love you. |
- I want to manipulate you.
- You're showing signs of breaking away and I want to suck you back in.
- I've heard people say this and it seems to get a good reaction.
- I command you to love me.
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| Don't ever feel like you HAVE to come see me for my birthday |
If you don't make the 650 mile pilgrimage to celebrate me, I promise I will do
something to make you pay dearly. |
| Go do something constructive. |
Be gone, I have no interest in my own children. |
| You were an "accident". |
You are only here because homicide would get me jail time, and I thought you'd be a better slave, so I
didn't opt for adoption. |
| You go have yourself a good cry! |
I resent your emotions, but at least I can use them to hurt you. |
| I never said that! |
- Damned if I'm going to admit it.
- Yes I said that but it doesn't work in the conversation right now.
- I know I said it but it’s so much fun to f*** with your head until you don’t know what is
true and you think you really are crazy! Yeah me!!!
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| It's been a long time since I talked to you and just called to see how you were
doing. |
I am running low on my Narcissistic
Supply and need another fix. |
| I have no idea what you're talking about! |
Damned if I'm going to admit to it. |
| You just aren't remembering correctly. |
My version of events shows me in a better light, so that's the official one. |
| You never do anything for me! |
I know you've done a lot for me in the past, but that was then and it no longer
counts. What have you done for me today? |
| It's time this stops. |
None of my ploys have worked to pull you back so now I will treat you like a
child. |
| I miss you. |
- I miss having control over you.
- I'm lacking my Narcissistic Supply - please
provide it pronto.
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| Who have you been talking to, in therapy with, what book did you read, etc, etc,
etc.... |
I'm not getting the usual emotional response from you and you are too dim-witted to
have figured out how to shut me down on your own. |
| Your brother and sister-in-law took us out to dinner last night. We had such a nice
time - I don't think we have ever been treated that well. |
You had better step up your game and show some appreciation for all I've done for
you. |
| I'm so proud of you. |
- You have made me feel good and/or *I* feel
good because of you.
- I can take credit for that accomplishment.
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| Why are you wasting your time on something so silly and that takes you away from your
family? |
Why are you wasting your time on something so silly and that takes you away from
me? |
| Your father and I think ... |
I think ... |
| So how are you? |
- I'd better ask, but don't worry I won't really be listening. Or as soon as you say a
trigger word, which reminds me of something else, I'll interrupt and be off again!
- I'm running out of things to boast to my friends about, so please come up with some
accomplishments.
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| I'm so sorry your beloved 14-year old dog died. |
Sigh ... I'd better at least mention it and then I can talk about myself again. |
| It's so sad! |
It's so exciting! I love being this close to tragedies! The drama! |
| I'm sorry. |
- I will say the words but never change my behaviour.
- I'll say anything to shut you up, but don't worry, I don't mean it.
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| I'm thinking of you. |
I will continue to ignore your boundaries. |
| Let’s just let go of the past. |
Let’s pretend everything is ok and I’m not a nightmare of a mother so I can continue
to torture you and get my Narcissistic Supply. |
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| Your sister-in-law is such a great cook! Simply amazing! |
I want to take away any pleasure or pride you have in your own cooking skills. |
| I just want you to love me. |
All I really want is for you give me my Narcissistic Supply. |
| What’s wrong with you today? What is your problem? |
I’m pissed that you are denying me my much needed Narcissistic Supply. Damn you! |
| I was only trying to help! |
I demand the freedom to interfere in your life any time I want.
That is my right! |
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What happened to the nice girl I once knew?
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Why are you no longer the easily manipulated and uncomplaining-of-abuse girl I raised you to
be?
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| After all I’ve done for you! You’ve never appreciated me!” wah wah wah |
I have violated your boundaries most of your life and I resent the hell out of your
standing your ground and refusing to allow me to interfere, manipulate and control you. |
| Why are you treating me so badly? What have I done wrong? |
I have the right to interfere in your life and abuse you without any
consequences. |
| Because I’m the Mama! |
You are really just a child, after all. I’ll never acknowledge that you are now an
adult. |
| I want to give you this or that because I love you. |
It’s really because you will then be beholden to me and this gives me great leverage
to milk you for Narcissistic Supply. |
| I want to help you with your kids. |
I plan to interfere in the upbringing of your children by spoiling them, disciplining
them differently to your way, and ignoring your decisions and wishes regarding them. I will not
acknowledge your position and rights as the mother of these children. |
- You were very difficult to raise.
- You were always my problem child.
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You resisted my attempts to violate your boundaries, abuse you and humiliate you. |
| I never want to be a burden to you. |
I will over-run your life and suck the life force from you and your children. |
| Have you lost some weight? |
I am so glad that I brought that sticky bun with me on this visit. |
| You take me the wrong way. |
I will invalidate your feelings as I have done your whole life. |
| You're such a good cook. |
You got that from me! |
| You're such a good mother. |
You got that from me! |
| You don't respect me! |
You won't let me abuse you! |
- I have to walk on eggshells around you.
- You're over-sensitive.
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You won't take my abuse uncomplainingly. |
| You won't forgive me! |
You won't allow me to allow me to trample all over you even though I have expressed no
repentance and will continue to act exactly as I always have. |
- You need more time to think about it.
- Well have a think about it and get back to me.
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I am not accepting your decision/opinion. |
| I was just joking even if I did say and do that, which I didn't. |
I did say/do it, and I did mean it, but damned if I'm going to acknowledge that. |
| You just won't admit when you're wrong. |
You defended yourself from my lies! |
| Medical emergency |
Broken finger nail |
| Disaster |
Phone bill arrives |
| Major Disaster |
Visitor cancelled |
| "Here's a gift" |
"Here is something, very likely something I have no more use for, that I am officially
giving to you. But it is still mine, and therefore I get to say, forever more, what you do
with it. And woebetide you don't appreciate it enough, over and over." |
