As well as Parentification, Narcissistic Mothers can also practise a form of
Infantalisation, i.e. keeping their daughters young and dependent on them. This is so the daughters will never
leave them to being their own adult lives, and so will remain around to provide lots of lovely Narcissistic Supply.
This can be done in different ways. Perhaps the mother will forever tell the daughter, to the point of
brainwashing, "You'll never amount to anything, you'll never survive in the real world, it's just as well you've
got me to mind you."
Another method of Infantalisation is to constantly overstate the dangers of the world, so that the daughter
thinks the world is an inherently unsafe place and that the only protection is via her mother. This further creates
a dependancy. There's such a huge cost though, because the daughter never, ever feels safe, perhaps not even in her
own bedroom at night - because bad guys can break into bedrooms at any time.
Now, I know, of course, that bad things do happen, and that there is a danger in the world. I know that most of
us work on a false assumption of safety, because that lets us function. But the truth is much more towards the
safety end of the spectrum - the odds of any one bad thing happening are miniscule. The mother who terrifies her
daughter about being abducted from her bed will happily take her daughter out in the car - where there is a real,
albeit small, risk of injury and death.
Infantalisation isn't about genuine protection - it's about creating terror and dependancy.
It might take the form of giving money to the daughter, constantly re-inforcing that the daughter can't make it
on her own. Of course this money has huge strings attached. It's possible too,
that the daughter genuinely cannot really manage her money, or look after herself properly, as she was never taught
how, and was brainwashed into thinking she couldn't.
Maybe the daughter has been trained to ask the Narcissistic Mother's advice on everything, which keeps the
daughter dependent in that way, and also makes sure she's doing everything in reference to her mother - again, the
Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mother's gonna put all her fears into you.
Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing.
|Pink Floyd - The Wall
I have created EFT videos to solve this issue. There are a lot of specific topics that speak to this issue. You
can get them individually at the links below, or access them all at The Healing Club.
Return from Infantalisation to
Mothers With Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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