Emotional Freedom Technique

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - which is simply tapping on acupuncture points - is a major tool for healing all the pain of being the Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother.

It literally erases negative emotions and limiting beliefs, more quickly, easily, and gently than you ever thought possible. (See testimonials here.)

Trauma and false beliefs (e.g. 'I'm not good enough') are held in the body. So talking about them doesn't help very much. Just like, if you had a splinter, you wouldn't go and talk to somebody about it. You wouldn't describe over and over how you got the splinter. You wouldn't just ignore the splinter and get on with life, trying to ignore it. You wouldn't join a support group for splinter-suffers, and sit around sharing your splinter experiences.

You'd just pull the splinter out, right?

Well, the same thing applies to traumas.

Traumas live in our bodies, and we need to pull them out.

And EFT is the way we do that.

Think how easy it is to pull a splinter out, and how quickly your finger heals after that.

The same thing applies to trauma - once we 'pull' it out of our bodies, the healing is instant - even quicker than with a splinter!

Quite frankly, EFT makes traditional counselling obsolete. Why just talk about it, when you can heal it?

The sort of issues Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers experience, and which EFT will help you heal, are:

• I keep hearing her voice in my head, telling me I'm useless.

• I need to know that I am not who she/they said I was.

• I still hope she'll change.

• I'm worthless.

• I'm not worthy of healing.

• I'm not worthy of [fill in issue here]

• I'm so hurt that she didn't love me.

• I always thought I was crazy.

• I still worry that she was right and I'm crazy.

• I'm worried that I'm narcissistic myself.

• I'm worried about what kind of mother I'll be.

• You're supposed to love your mother!

• She tells me that she loves me but it doesn't feel like it.

• My friends don't understand - they think I'm horrible.

• I feel so guilty about not loving her.

• I hate her!

• It's not safe to be my authentic self.

• I don't even know who I am.

• I hate myself. I can't love myself.

• I have such low self-esteem.

• I struggle with self-care.

• I've no right to exist.

• I've never been good enough.

• I can never be good enough.

• Who I am is not acceptable.

• I'm inherently flawed.

• I keep sabotaging myself.

• I'm too perfectionist.

• I'm so angry at her.

• I'm feeling so sad that she'll never love me.

• I'm facing the bereavement of never having had a mother.

• I'm an orphan, and I'm just realising now that I always have been.

• I feel such formless, pervasive shame.

• I feel so guilty over my feelings about her.

• I'm so sad.

• I'm so lonely.

• I can't enjoy my successes.

• She always dismissed my successes.

• She always fed off my tragedies.

• I still feel like a little girl. Will I ever be grown up?

• It's not safe to access my power.

• I'm over-sensitive.

• I'm always walking on eggshells around people, terrified to offend them.

• I find it impossible to set boundaries.

• I'm scared of authority figures.

• I'm terrified of people being angry with me.

• I've real body-image issues.

• I'm terrified of my mother.

• I hate my father for enabling her.

• I'm still trying to get her approval and her attention.

• I want to cut off contact with her, but I can't.

• I want to handle her better when we do meet.

• I have such low self-esteem.

• I'm always attracting abusers.

• I can't trust anybody.

• I'm so scared of abandonment.

• The world isn't safe.

• I don't deserve good things.

• I don't deserve good relationships.

• I don't deserve to heal from having a Narcissistic Mother.

• It's not safe to heal.

• She'll win if I heal.

• I can't say nice things about myself.

• I can't celebrate my own successes

• I'm terrified of speaking the family secrets.

• I'm scared to be powerful.
   

There are many, many others of course. You know best what is going on for you, and with EFT we can identify them (if they need identifying - you might know them already) and heal them.

Whatever the issue is, I can use EFT to help you heal. The theme of this website is: The Pain Stops Here, and it's because of EFT that I am able to make this promise. 

You can also use EFT yourself, to pretty good effect. Doing EFT yourself compared to working with a practitioner such as myself is the difference between First Aid and brain surgery - but there's a place for First Aid! Click here for instructions.

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