Are you struggling to meet your self-care
needs?
Dear Fellow DoNM,
Do you find it difficult - or even impossible - to meet your self-care needs? Do you struggle
to look after your hygiene, or dental care, or diet, or surroundings? It's not surprising if
so, given that many of our mothers found it too much trouble to look after us - and that's what we
learned.
It's so horrible, isn't it? Either not meeting your needs as much as you ideally would (and the shame and
embarrassment that comes with that) or doing it against every inclination so that you end up exhausted -
it's like climbing a mountain every time.
Does this resonate with you?
If so, this might be the important information you've ever read, because I'm about to share with you a secret
way of literally erasing this block to looking after yourself.
Imagine what it would be like to:
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Easily and happy meet all your
self-care needs, with NO struggle |
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Be proud and confident in your
appearance and that of your house |
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Find it effortless to meet
your self-care needs - the mountain has flattened to a plain |
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Know, with absolute certainty, that
you are worth looking after. |
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Easily give yourself the care and
nurturing your narcissistic mother never gave you. |
It would be wonderful, wouldn't it! Imagine the sheer bliss of it.
Well you don't just have to imagine it. You can live it. Read on to find out how.
Thing is, you were not born with this block to caring for yourself. As I said above, you learned
it as a response to your narcissistic mother's crazy upbringing. When she didn't bother to take
care of you, you internalised the strong belief that you weren't worth caring for - and that's the belief you are
manifesting every single day.
And here's the thing: with this secret I'm sharing with you here, you can unlearn
it!
And you absolutely deserve to unlearn it and live well and happy.
They say that the best revenge is living well, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I call it:
Ethical Revenge!
Our ethical revenge against our narcissistic mothers is to overcome her evil legacy and live a happy and
peaceful life, content with who we are. It's a way of being able to effectively say to her:
"I am now deleting all the false messages and lies you told me about myself. I'm erasing
them totally! I'm claiming the truth about myself, and there is nothing you can do to stop me! And
despite your best efforts I'm going to start living happily!"
She may never know it, but that doesn't matter. You'll know it! You'll be the one easily and
happily taking care of yourself.
So what is this secret which
can free you from this block to self-care?
The solution is EFT, also called Tapping. It involves nothing more complex than tapping gently on acupuncture
points, and it literally erases negative emotions and limiting beliefs such as "I don't deserve to be
looked after".
And it does that amazingly quickly and easily. Just zaps the belief into oblivion. It's hard to describe it
until you've experienced it - the negative emotions and limiting beliefs just fade away till they're completely and
utterly gone! Vanished, eradicated and non-existent.
What EFT is NOT:
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It is NOT talk-therapy.
Although there is usually an element of talking, it is really body-work with a talking element, rather
than just talking. |
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It is NOT hypnosis. Although
you might find it relaxing, you do not go into any kind of hypnotic trance. |
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It is NOT faith-healing. You
absolutely do not have to believe it for it to work. You can be as sceptical as you like. |
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It is NOT in any way
religious. There is no belief system whatsoever needed. |
How EFT is different from traditional counselling:
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It makes changes at a much deeper
level. Did you ever know something rationally, but not know it deep down? With EFT you
know the new empowering truth (such as "I do deserve to be cared
for and looked after", deep down, in your gut and heart and soul, not just as an abstract
theory. |
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It's much, much quicker. Changes
that used to take months of therapy can now happen in tens of minutes, or hours at most. |
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It's much gentler - you can even
heal your issue without talking or even thinking about it - you just give it a title or label, and work
on that until it's easy to think/talk about. |
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It's much cheaper: as it's so much
quicker, it costs so much less. |
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Quite frankly, EFT makes
traditional counselling obsolete. Why just talk about it when you can
heal it? |
I came to EFT when I was trying to heal what I now know is the DONM
legacy, and I was blown away by the results. It changed my life, literally. I erased issue
after issue after issue (traumas, addictions, phobias, limiting beliefs and other blocks), and life just kept
getting better and better in terms of better health, better relationships and more joy and contentment in my life.
(And I am still using EFT every day, and improving my life every day.)
I then trained as an EFT practitioner - because I knew this was too good to keep to myself, and have helped
hundreds of clients over the past seven years to erase phobias, traumas, anxiety and a myriad of other issues.
You can see some of the non-DONM feedback here.
As soon as I realised about the unique crazy-making upbringing we DONMs have, I knew that EFT could powerfully
resolve these issues quickly and easily. This is why I share, on this site, a video on how to do EFT so you can use
it for yourself. The problem with this is that usually it's almost impossible for people to
know what to say as they tap. And so I have come up with a solution I'm very excited about:
I have created videos in which I guide you as you tap on this
specific issue and gently and easily erase it.
These videos have no fancy backgrounds or complicated graphics - it's
just me in my home office taking my years of EFT experience combined with my lifetime of DONM
experience to create videos which quite simply erase, one by one, the DONM issues we all suffer
from.
These videos are unique in the world - created
by a DONM for DONMs, addressing the unique issues our
crazy upbringing has given us.
Here some comments from DONM forum members on their experiences with EFT:
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Eating Healthily!
Just checked my food diary and was amazed to see that I didn't eat anything for
2 hours after tapping [The 'Self-Harm' video] - wow! And what I did eat was a
cheese and tomato croissant followed 2½ hours later by some mushroom soup.
So I'm seeing results already!
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| Forum Member 'Not Guilty Anymore' |
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This is awesome!
This is so awesome Danu, I’m so grateful to you for getting me back into EFT
again.
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| Forum Member 'Not Guilty Anymore' |
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House getting tidier and decluttering!
My house is getting tidier by the minute and I find at times I have the
strongest urge to go throw something, anything out! I'm only doing this very slowly
but it's a start. I've always had great difficulty parting with anything.
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| Forum Member 'Not Guilty Anymore' |
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I was able to do my work despite my resistance.
As the results of my neglect [i.e. her business sabotage] became clear today, I
had the urge to commit more neglect. I found myself reaching for the mouse to
[waste time on the internet] and I checked a couple of news sites about four times.
I decided if I was going to do something other than work than it would be EFT. So,
I did the self-harm session and then the healing resistance video. While I still
felt really disappointed, I got back to work.
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| Forum Member 'Christine' |
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The most productive day yet since doing the
Tapping!
I think today was probably the most productive day since the beginning of EFT. I
did the healing resistance first today and then the self-harm sessions. The huge
difference is that [the fallout from her business neglect] would have been proof of
my “incompetence” two weeks ago. Today it was “what can I do to mitigate the
fallout.”
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| Forum Member 'Christine' |
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Used EFT to avoid displacement activities and do the
work!
Well, the marketing email is done and queued up to go out at 9:00 am. I stopped
in the middle of the process and did and EFT session on hiding. I just wanted to go
to the dog park or do something else completely. I had plenty of opportunities to
run away so I thought a good session in the middle of it all would help. I think it
did. I got some writing done as well.
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| Forum Member 'Christine', who had been sabotaging by not doing her
marketing.) |
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A superb script!
The script is absolutely ideal for this self-harm/DoNM stuff! It's specific
enough to target this particular phenomenon, but broad enough for each person to
apply to her own particular penchant for self-harm/neglect/punishment. A superb
job, Danu; thank you so much!
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| Forum Member 'Alex' |
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This is done in the form of a diary entry by forum member 'Reader'.
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Got taken on by an agency after Tapping!
EFT for five days in a row
Feel confident enough to finally apply to a professional talent agency
Get signed with an agency within the hour
Have a complete DoNM-style FREAK OUT that I suck at everything and who the hell do
I think I am signing with an agent?
Make the conscious choice to ignore the inner demons and go back to EFT
A few days of calm
Sign up for multiple auditions and become absolutely shameless about self
promotion
Have another major FREAK OUT and think I suck at everything
More EFT
I'm currently in a calm place where I still hear the inner voices telling me I
suck, but I am making the conscious choice to tap-tap-tap when I feel that anxiety
and proceed anyway.
I've also been writing like mad and have plans to push my writing to a literary
agency. Feeling major anxiety around that, too, but screw it. Back to EFT. Gonna do
it. Life is short.
So this is amazing stuff.
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| Forum Member 'Reader' |
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And here's some recent feedback I got. I know it's long, but it's well worth
reading as it brings up a LOT of relevant issues. You'll see, for
example, that this person started getting real and measurable results in only 8 days, and
lots more important information.
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Measurable results after only 8 days Tapping!
Hi Danu,
I know...it's too early for a success story since I only bought these downloads on
8 days ago. However, I still felt I wanted to speak to you.
I have practiced EFT for over seven years, TFT for four years and cognitive therapy
for almost thirty. Both of my parents are card-carrying narcissists and I bore the
brunt of this madness and my mother, especially, was diabolical. What I realized is
that no one directly deals with the feelings that any child of a narcissist has
because few understand it. So when I used EFT myself I got close but never was able
to address the issues that you cover because even I didn't understand what I was
feeling.
I have the manuals but I prefer to watch you on the video because you are such a
comforting presence, I don't have to feel alone and you have such a beautiful
voice.
The first video I tapped along to ("Self-Punishment") I felt so good- and then
suddenly craved a box of See's candy. I was shocked because I used to have a severe
craving for See's that I had dealt with before and hadn't eaten in years. However,
sitting and tapping through the feelings, the craving went away completely- and I
knew I was on the right track. At first, I thought that the "Self-Punishment" video
wasn't about me because my (and probably others') issues have long been ignored or
misidentified - yet it was! I have been punishing myself all of my life through
overeating, self-denial, self-sabotage, you name it. Tears came up while I was
tapping but they were cleansing because I was, at last, hearing the truth.
I've only had three of your videos ("I Never Belong", "Self-Punishment", "Not Safe
to Heal") as well as all of the PDF's. I repeat the "7 Words" all the time and I
find them quite comforting to say. I especially like the fact that you've included
the positive "Choices" in your videos because I need to know where to go next. I
find myself ending the session with a smile.
When I used them the first day, I couldn't believe your words- they felt too
foreign even after all of this therapy. However, five days later, I'm nodding my
head in agreement as I do my tapping. Interestingly, I have had a much easier time
creating healthier boundaries and making healing choices, which is something I
wouldn't have expected. Hearing the truth in a non-combative manner, from someone
who finally understands me, is like a balm to my heart, mind and soul.
I know through using EFT for so long that specificity is crucial. Yet, I found
myself "dancing" around the issue of narcissism because I had never identified it-
and nor had anyone else. I have thousands of pages downloaded from Gary Craig's
[EFT's founder] original site, not to mention the hundreds of dollars I've wasted
on EFT practitioners. The "elephant in the living room" was always missing, so
while I found some success I was always just "missing the mark". When I watched
your first video, many feelings came up, but mainly recognition. I nodded my head
and smiled through the tears as I tapped and thought, "Somebody finally understands
me!". My inner child has longed to hear the words that you use in the videos all of
my life and I find repeated listening extremely calming and reassuring.
I know that you had worked hard on the wording because I recognize the various
techniques that you use. The "art of delivery" comes in- not with the techniques-
but the application of them. Most beginners of EFT get stuck with "What do I say?"
and you resolve that here beautifully.
So, thank you and I will be eager to buy more!
This is a long message (sorry). But in one week, I am sleeping so much better. I am
eating like a "normie" which I haven't done since childhood. And I am finally back
in my own body. These are true miracles to me- and I haven't been in therapy in
weeks!
What can I say, Danu, but a heartfelt "Thank you"?
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| Forum member "Hollybear23" |
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Sounded too good to be
true - but it's not!
EFT sounded too good to be true
but I have started with Danu's videos and am already feeling a
difference.
Each session seems to bring me closer to my
subconscious and has more meaning every time. I do it once a day as I find it quite
intense. I'm starting to insert my own words while following the videos. My old
unbidden thought patterns, “I have never done anything right, I do not deserve to
be happy, I am worthless etc. etc.” are now being countered by other thoughts, “I
am a human equal to all humans and have only done my best, I deserve to be happy, I
have done good things in my life etc etc.” I am taking better care of myself after
about a week or so. I feel that just taking a step towards improving self care is a
positive thing.
Maybe after the 30 days Danu says is a must, I'll be
able to alter the tapping more to my specific issues, but for now, the videos are
really helping. So much easier than dragging up awful buried memories, painfully
dissecting them, coming to terms and moving on! Weeks instead of years.
Awesome!
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Forum Member 'Survivor'
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"I feel liberated, I feel hopeful, and I feel
incredibly grateful."
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Hi, Danu!
Upon learning that my mother has NPD earlier this year, I wanted to get as much
support as possible to help me heal from the trauma of her abuse. Thus, I decided
to work with a a certified EFT practitioner for the past few months as a supplement
to my work with a therapist. I loved how EFT so quickly and effortlessly help me
heal from some really ingrained and deeply held limiting beliefs..
My EFT practitioner kept telling me that I was harboring a lot of shame but because
I took for granted so many of my negative beliefs about myself (as you know, that's
what happens when you've been raised by a NM), I had a hard time identifying
phrases for our sessions. This is when I found your scripts. Most of them were
under $20 so I figured I might as well give one a try.
Since my therapist had recently pointed out to me that I was taking on a lot of
self-help work b/c of a belief that I was somehow flawed, I purchased your tapping
script "Feeling Inherently Flawed." I already knew how to tap (and your video was a
welcome review) so that night, I pulled out the script and started.
I could not believe how on target this entire script was. You really nailed what
it's like to be a daughter of a mother with NPD. I sobbed the first time I did EFT
with this script. It was as if you had read my mind! But I guess, being a DONM
yourself, you're well acquainted with the negative beliefs many of us have.
After two weeks, I noticed a significant difference in me. I no longer felt
inherently flawed. At all. When I made a mistake, I didn't go into my usual pattern
of beating myself up. If someone was rude to me, I did not automatically blame
myself. Normally, I have to catch these patterns consciously and then do some
self-coaching around my limiting thoughts but with your EFT scripts, it's as if
they had been erased from my subconscious. Even my dreams reflected a newfound
confidence. I think my posture has even improved!
I have tapped daily with this script for a month as you advise your clients to do.
Today, I feel like a brand new person. To walk around my own life without this
nagging awful belief that something is wrong with me is...well, it's beyond words.
I feel liberated, I feel hopeful, and I feel incredibly grateful.
Thank you for providing such an outstanding healing resource at such an affordable
price. I have already begun referring your EFT scripts to others.
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| Forum member "Brooke" |
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That feedback shares the experiences of other DONMs who have used this
resource. And now you have found your way here - is it because this is your time to heal from these blocks
to self-care?

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Payment is by the safe and trusted PayPal, either using your PayPal
account or your credit card. Note: Once you make the payment you'll be brought to
a payment confirmation page. Once there, click on the 'Return To Merchant' button
and that will bring you to the download page for the product. The link will also be e-mailed
to you.
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All you have to do is
to make the commitment to tap along with it once each day for a about a month - (maybe up to six weeks –
although that would be unusually long).
Healing simply does not come any easier than this!
You don't force any change in your behaviour or thoughts or feelings - after all, if you could have
done that, you would have done that, years ago!
This process is about changing the false programming your mother
installed, and so the negative thoughts and beliefs (and the sabotaging behaviour that comes from them, naturally -
and easily! - change all by themselves.
So, just observe the changes in your thoughts, self-talk, and actions, and note how they change for the better
day-by-day. You can even keep a written record, and send me your results if you like! I'd love to hear your success
stories.
So, as I say, do this tapping for just the brief few minutes it takes, once a day, for at most a month or six
weeks, and your blocks to looking after yourself will be totally erased. Gone. Vanished. And
once they're gone, they're gone forever.
I personally guarantee that this will work for you, or I'll give you your money back. You'll know
in a month if it's working, but I give you a lifetime guarantee.
I personally guarantee that this will work for you, or I'll give you your money back. You'll know
in a month if it's working, but I give you a lifetime guarantee.
If you ever want a refund, just send me an e-mail saying so to , including
your PayPal Transaction ID (i.e. your receipt number which PayPal will send to you in an e-mail) and I'll
refund your payment within one business day.
And you can keep Tap Away: Self-Care Deficit and the bonuses (I didn't tell you
about bonuses yet - but they're coming!) as my thanks for having tried it.
So you literally have nothing to lose but your blocks to self-care and self-nurture.
Listen, if you're serious about healing from X, you cannot
afford to turn your back on this opportunity. Either it works or it costs you nothing. You cannot lose.
All you have to do is to commit to using it. The burden of proof remains with me.
Here's what you get in this life-changing package:
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The Tap Away:
Self-Care Deficit Video
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All you have to do is to play it and follow along, tapping where I tap and
saying each statement after me.
It couldn't be easier or simpler.
Or more powerful and effective.
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The Tap Away:
Self-Care Deficit Manual
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The text of the video is written down for you here so you can print it out and carry it
where ever you want - for portable tapping! (Once you
know the points, which won't take long at all, this will be very easy.)
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(Note - you will be buying access to videos and manuals to
either use online or download. The images of DVDs and manuals are just for illustration purposes. There is no
physical product.)
BONUS RESOURCES:
Tap Away: Your Self-Care Deficit is
incredibly powerful and will benefit you beyond what you can imagine now. But I wanted to add even more value. So
I'm including the following valuable bonuses:
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Tap Away: Blocks To
Healing
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Because of the crazy-making way we were raised, we can have all
sorts of blocks to healing - feeling we don't deserve to heal, for example. And that can get in the
way of all other healing we're working on.
This video and accompanying manual solve that problem, if it
exists. Simply do this video before the main one.
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Tap Away: The Urge To Self-Harm
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Tap Away: The Urge To Self-Harm sells elsewhere on this website for $37.00
but you're getting it here for free.
This is because an urge to self-harm or self-punish can manifest in not looking after your
self-care needs, so it's relevant to this issue.
(If you've bought it already, send me the receipt for it, and the
receipt for this once you get it, and I'll refund you the full amount.)
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This powerful resource sells elsewhere on this site for the drastically underpriced amount of
$9.00, but you get it free as part of your purchase of Tap Away: Self-Care
Deficit.
It is simply a very powerful seven-word phrase for you to use as a Tapping Affirmation - tap as
you say it, as often as you can (waiting in traffic, on the toilet etc). It will change your
life.
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11 Ideas For EFT In The Rest Of Your
Life
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Once you know how to do EFT you have a tool for life literally at your fingertips. This book shows
you how to use this in lots of different ways to enhance your quality of life and
that of your family.
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Frequently Asked
Questions
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How does it work?
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It works on the same basis as acupuncture, except that we use tapping instead of
needles.
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It sounds like so much mumbo-jumbo to me.
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I can understand that. It certainly is not in the mainstream yet. But you can try
it risk-free and see for yourself. If it doesn't work, just get your money back.
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Isn't it just the placebo affect?
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Well, even if it was, would it matter, once it worked? I find it amazing that the
medical profession is not investigating the placebo affect more, to try to harness our body's
ability to heal itself. But in fact, EFT is not the placebo affect as it works even if you're
sceptical, and it works on babies too.
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Is it only for daughters of narcissistic mothers?
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These videos are specifically created for daughters of narcissistic mothers, and
some of the phrasing refers directly to that. But they would still work for others - just say
'fathers' or 'ex' whenever I say 'mother' (or whatever variation suits your specific
situation).
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Is it safe?
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I believe it to be safe or I would not be sharing it, and millions of people all
over the world have used EFT safely. But you take full responsibility for your experience of it. I
suggest that if you are very emotionally fragile, or are on heavy medication, or any other similar
situation, that you do not use these videos. EFT can still work for you, but with a qualified
practitioner rather than by yourself.
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Can I do EFT on my own, without your videos?
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For sure. Here are the instructions as to how to do EFT itself. The trick is to know
what to say while you're tapping to get the best benefit, and my videos offer that. They are
basically the distillation of seven years' EFT training and experience. They're a short-cut for
you, to save you re-inventing the wheel so to speak.
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| How long do the results last? |
They last forever. Once an issue is erased, there is no reason for it to come
back. |
| Will I get upset? |
You might. EFT is as gentle as it gets, but it's still possible that emotions can get
overwhelming - it's rare, but it does happen. This is not as much of a problem as it sounds,
though. Strong emotion is not dangerous in itself no matter that we have been trained to think it
is. If emotions overwhelm you as you tap, just keep tapping while you cry, knowing that you are
releasing and processing that buried emotion as you do. |
| What if I feel worse? |
This is related to the above question so please read the answer to that too. You might
feel temporarily worse, although the scripts are designed to be very gentle and minimise this. But
once you keep tapping until you feel better (which should take tens of minutes at most, not hours
and hours), then you won't end up feeling worse. Think of it like this: a burst boil looks worse
briefly until it's cleaned, but the pus is absolutely better off out of your body than staying in
there as poison. And the buried feelings are emotional poison. |
| What side-effects are there? |
One of the gifts of EFT is that there are normally no bad side-effects (no guarantees
that you won't be the first though - but thousands upon thousands of people have used it without
side effects). As you tap you may well find yourself yawning lots, and sighing lots, and maybe even
notice your tummy gurgling. And very, very rarely people experience a break-out of spots. And as
mentioned above, occasionally there can be very strong emotion. |
| How is it different from traditional talk-therapy? |
EFT is very different to talk therapy. Although there is a talking element (i.e. you
talk when you tap) it's really body work. These traumas and emotions and beliefs are held in the
body, and that's where we have to go to heal them. |
| How does it feel to do it? |
It can feel very relaxing, or it can feel very 'nothing'. It shouldn't hurt - if a
tapping point is tender, just tap very gently on it, so that it doesn't hurt. |
| Why do you say to only tap once a day. What if I want to do more? |
I recommend once a day for a number of reasons. One is that even once a day is a big
committment for us DONMs who aren't used to looking after ourselves, and that's plenty to be doing.
It's far better to do once a day consistently than three or four times a day for a while, and then
find it too hard and stop doing it. Another reason is that this way it's not threatening to us. We
all have a bias against change - change can feel scary and unsafe and often self-sabotage is an
attempt to keep us safe by stopping the change no matter that it's change for the better. By only
doing EFT once a day the changes are so subtle that they don't trigger this panic reaction. And
thirdly, there are deep and powerful changes at a deep level even doing it once a day, and it's
good to let those settle into the system before doing more. It's like, you don't give your plant a
month's worth of water at one go as it can only use it a bit at a time and too much water at one go
can flood it. |
| Does it really work? |
Yes. It does. |
So, how much does this life-changing package cost?
When I was deciding on a price I had to consider a number of elements in order to honour the value of
Tap Away: Your Self-Care Deficit: the years of EFT experience and training which allowed me to
create this unique resource, the considerable investment of time it took to actually create it, the huge
amount of work which went into creating this website and getting it high up on the search engines so you could find
this resource, and most importantly, the incalcuable value of you healing your blocks to self-care and
being able to look after yourself easily and joyfully.
I invite you to consider how much it is worth to you to be free of this block?
Or, consider it another way - how much would you have to pay a traditional talk-therapist to help you solve this
issue? How many sessions would it take? If we assume a low number of ten sessions, at an average of $100.00 per
session, it would cost you $1000.00. Still excellent value, of course - your well-being is priceless, and whatever
it costs to get this is worth it.
I want to put that value in perspective so that when I tell you the price of Tap Away: Your Self-Care
Deficit, you won't dismiss it because it's so reasonably priced. It can be very tempting to equate low
cost with low value.
But that is absolutely NOT the case here.
So, based on all the factors above I concluded that $97.00 would be a fair price -
the price of only one session with a therapist, for a guaranteed outcome.
But I wanted to make it accessible to everybody, and so I'm dropping the price to less than half of that, and
- for the moment at least - the price is only:
$97.00
$37.00
Is it worth the price of a meal out, for you to quickly, and easily, and painlessly
eradicate your blocks to self-care?
Are you - despite what she told you - worth that?
And of course, don't forget the money-back guarantee - if it doesn't work for you, you get all your
money back - every last cent.

Look, you don't have to decide now - you can just get Tap
Away: Your Self-Care Deficit, check it over, test it out for as long as you like on a totally no-risk and
no-obligation basis, and only then decide if you want to keep it.
Warning: if you close this webpage you are, by
default, making the decision to keep all the blocks to looking after yourself, to struggle with meeting your
self-care needs and sometimes not managing it.
On the other hand, by getting the video and using it you are committing to your healing and
wellbeing. This is a powerful message to send to your subconcious.
So, it's up to you now. I've shared as best as I can what Tap
Away: Your Self-Care Deficit involves and how it can help you. I do hope that for your own sake you will
seize this no-lose opportunity. Your decision will not change my life in any way, but it could surely change
yours.
My very best wishes for a happy, healthy and fantastically fulfilled
future!

P.S.: Don't forget that your healing is absolutely guaranteed with my
lifetime money-back guarantee.
P.P.S.: And that healing with EFT is quicker and gentler than anything you've tried before.
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